Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize