the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
