no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize