Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
