I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
