loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
