you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
