Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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