I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
