She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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