Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
