hell yes lets make some ravioli
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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