Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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