I murdered the dance floor call the cops
...so i touched it.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
