we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
