Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
