I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
