I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
