i always forget guys have bellybuttons
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize