remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
