What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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