Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I will be naked everywhere
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
