When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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