Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
