Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
A+ Viking dick
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
