I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize