What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
