very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
she peed on how many people?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
