you guys were way drunker than both of me
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
