Can Purell be used as lube?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
