I puked a lego.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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