Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Randomize
