I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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