i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
