i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
