Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
