well I can't set my house on fire every night
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
