If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
