I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
as a side note pls kill me
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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