I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
you're hired as official boob wrangler
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize