They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
