just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Randomize
