if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
she smelled like a LAN party
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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