You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
