You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
