aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
be right there i have to get my cape
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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