Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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