Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
