I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
