Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You dont lie about slip and slides
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
