How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
