we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
