I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
