when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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