if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
