So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We are two peas in an std pod
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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