I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
