I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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