then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
