so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
