I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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