Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Ladies don't puke and tell
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
