So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize