Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
