Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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