I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
