96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
