Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just had sex on a roof
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
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