Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
