I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
