Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize