just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
