i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
