You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
